It’s Wednesday and I am having a little hectic day at work. I am daydreaming of many things and one of them is to be brave enough to give it all up and go. The fear however, is holding me back.
I’d like to talk about fear today. It’s a small word that can stop us from doing what we really want to be able to achieve our ultimate goals. Every day, so many great ideas were lost to fear and so many great journeys never took off because of fear.
I have been, and still am at time, been a victim of fear. It is what’s stopping me from selling everything and go at the moment, when I know it is the only thing I really want to do.
I do this because I don’t think I am ‘ready’. Thank to an article I read this week, I’ve learned that I should just start before I am ready, because the article is right: “successful people start before they feel ready”.
Yes, I keep looking for excuses, such as my husband would never agree (because he has the fear factor too), where are we going to live, what to do with my cats and what I am going to do with my career… What I never realised until now that my ‘career’ is nothing more than just a job that make other people money, and while my salary has been the sole reason I got to travel so much – because let’s be honest, travelling is expensive, especially from Australia where there are no land boarders for me to crawl through – and that I am able to enjoy the finer things in travel such as the occasional five star hotel beds and a meal in a fine dining restaurant; it is also the exact thing that’s installing this fear in my nomadic self.
I want to travel. Forever.
When I was younger I was taught that a stable job and a nice family life is what we should all aim to have. There is an underlying expectation that we must brand ourselves to something such as a job title and a fixed address and not let go, because letting go is for the weak.
How wrong were these advice! Of those who have these things how many of them are truly happy? How many of them can say they absolutely have no regrets?
Certainly not me. I have come to realise in the past year or so that these possessions that I have – a job, an apartment, and the stable income – are all hindrance to my true passion: travel.
Not that I haven’t travelled. Every decision I have made as an adult have been made around travel. The degree I studied at the university involved travel; the first thing I do when I start a job is to book in my annual leave to travel; I assess the possibilities to travel with work and of course, the choice of becoming a writer is all completely about travel.
Yet, I feel that I have never really ‘travelled’. I am looking forward to selling our flat, give away all my books and furniture and pick up my backpack to go around India for three months.
I want to explore the length of Indonesia, follow the perimeter of South America, hunt down the Big 5 in and rub shoulders with the tribes people of Africa.
All in one big, long trip.
Possible? Of course it is. Many are already doing it out there. I just need to get over that fear factor (and figure out what to do with my cats!).