I’ve recently gone back to “work” – travelling daily to Southampton for a two months contract to sit out the quiet winter period when my writing work slows down.
The train trip is 1.5 hours southward from London, and because I am going against the hamster wheel, I always get a seat and have the Hampshire countryside to accompany me and my thoughts.
I love it. You know I love trains, and now you are about to find out that I also love the time I spend talking to myself.
Dinners and conversations for one – travelling solo
Before I met my husband, I’ve mostly travelled solo, and I’ve had plenty of dinners for one.
Most of the time I use these solitude for work – you are likely to see me writing notes in my notebook or typing away on my laptop, but I also do use these occasions to just do nothing and think.
Or read. I like reading.
People often feel awkward about eating alone – well, yes sometimes it can be a little awkward, especially when you are the only female in a hotel bar, reading your book, minding your own business and you realise that the hotel is known for prostitutes picking up rich clients in the bar and people are looking suspiciously at you…. (thankfully, hookers don’t generally read a book when they are waiting).
But then again, that only happened in Moscow, and most of the time, I quite enjoy having my dinners for one when I am on one of my trips because I get to have a conversation with myself.
This is not another post about solo travel. Heck that’s been written about over and over, and in my opinion, is something we should all travel by ourselves at least once in our lives.
This is a post for those of us who travel for work, constantly on the go because it’s what we have to do, and often, in my case, what we love to do.
Apparently, talking to ourselves is considered healthy
As adults, we often experience this differently and often, for those more sentimental side of us, brings out the darkest thoughts and secrets that we’d pushed to the deepest pits of our hearts.
I have worn many hats in my career(s), and luckily most of these hats involved some form of travel. When I first moved to London, my job as a business analyst took me repeated to Moscow and Kiev for client meetings and workshops. I’ve also made appearances in Lausanne and the office in Poland.
While I had colleagues with me most of the time, there were times when I was alone.
And these alone time gave me the chance to learned a lot more about myself.
Funny. You’d think being you, you already know everything there is to know about yourself.
Then, you start talking to people, with those who are willing to go into the deep and meaningful things about life, those whose words resonate with your own thoughts.
That’s when you realise, sometimes it takes these conversations to trigger something, to bring out thoughts you thought you never had, and to remind you of the passions you’ve lost.
It is in the moments when I am waiting at the airport while waiting for the delayed flights to eventuate, sitting alone at the bus stops, on trains or just sitting in my room working away.. I ask myself questions, I give myself reasons.
So, what do I talk to myself about?
These are the moments I give my thoughts free reign. Sometimes the conversation could simply be my pictorial memory, wordless, just the beauty and colours of the world as I pass through and faces of the people I meet.
I begin to think of the past, the present and the future.
The maybes and what ifs.
I am not one to live in the past – hell no. I think those who live in the past needs to see more of the beauty of the present. However, as my mind wanders, I think of the love and the heartaches, the opportunities and the missed chances.
It makes you wonder why you had made certain decisions, turned down certain invitations.
Oh and fluffy animals. They appear in my head regularly :)
Ah the joy of an unpredictable mind
My mind is a growing bubbles of thoughts large and small. It’s pretty scary in there! Luckily for me, these thoughts are helpful for my writing, so I am just going to keep them churning.
In case you are wondering – I am not crazy, but my thoughts do run like Hussein Bolt sometimes, at a million miles an hour, I can hardly keep up.
Psychologists say (I am pretty sure I read about this somewhere) it’s ok to let your mind wander. It’s great for me, often it’s these little things that give me great story ideas.
So don’t be afraid to have dinners alone and talking to yourself sometimes. Unleash your imagination and creativity!
I believe that our lives are threads of stories weaving into each other- you think I am just daydreaming but what I really am doing, is writing a book of life in my head.